I fear my bed. It's so empty, even when I lay upon it. Even when I am part of the peaks and valleys of my sheets, my bed feels so empty.
It crossed my mind to sleep on the couch. Not a lot of room, no reminder of space. On my bed, the soft kisses of the cold void beside me touches my skin, causes me to shiver in my sleep. It's like when the monster underneath my childhood bed would caress my leg with a bony touch. I wonder if that monster still resides under that bed or perhaps I sleep with the monster beside me now. The gentle caress is not enough anymore. It wants to suck, bite and swallow me.
It crossed my mind to sleep on the couch. Not a lot of room, no reminder of space. On my bed, the soft kisses of the cold void beside me touches my skin, causes me to shiver in my sleep. It's like when the monster underneath my childhood bed would caress my leg with a bony touch. I wonder if that monster still resides under that bed or perhaps I sleep with the monster beside me now. The gentle caress is not enough anymore. It wants to suck, bite and swallow me.
Emptiness.
I'm tossing and turning more in my sleep, like I'm running.
I'm cuddling my pillow more in my sleep, like I'm scared.
Why is it that this bed all of a sudden seems so daunting, so challenging to accept and overcome yet when I wake up, I don't want to get up?
I'm cuddling my pillow more in my sleep, like I'm scared.
Why is it that this bed all of a sudden seems so daunting, so challenging to accept and overcome yet when I wake up, I don't want to get up?
Perhaps my wants are the same things my fear wants.
Sleep, company, comfort, warmth.
Sleep, company, comfort, warmth.
Emptiness just wants what I want.
We have each other, let's lay together.
Futile attempt to catch up on sleep during the day.
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